I have a confession to make. I am party to an epic and probably poetry worthy bromance with my business partner Steve. I’m talking Butch and Sundance, Wayne and Garth, Matt and Ben, even Kirk and Spock. This is huge! But, before I go any further, I should dispel any concern about this being a sexual or San Francisco style “bromance” - don’t worry, I still like the ladies, and Steve hardly ever lets me past 2nd base anyway ;) haha.
But seriously, when they talk about marrying your startup business partners they aren’t messing around. Steve and I spend a little more than 14 hours a day within 4 feet of one another, when we are traveling this could be as high as 23 hours a day depending on sleeping arrangements. I literally spend more time with Steve than I ever have with anyone else, ever, baring my mother in my first few months of life. Now, you come to learn a lot about a person when you spend this amount of time together, and I would very much like to tell you about the inner workings of our founder bromance…
But first some general pointers. First off, generally speaking, you have absolutely nothing to talk about. Ever ask a friend whats new, or how they are feeling today? Well it gets old in about a day. So you had better damn well be ok with sitting in the same space quietly. Secondly you had better like this person, because you are gonna spend more time together than any significant other you ever have, in your life, ever. And thirdly, there is no makeup-sex equivalent in startup land, so learn to apologize for being a douche, and don’t start a business with someone who can’t be wrong. Now,as for our bromance specifically - lets just say people are weird, myself included. We all have quirks, and funny things that make us tick. I wish to share with your some of Steve’s lovely quirks:
- Italian food gives him gas.
- He’s got a thing for Lily Allen.
- He eats about 7000 calories a day.
- BUT, he can’t eat within 1 hour of waking up, like not at all. If you want to have delicious anti-Steve food you gotta do it early in the day!
- Hes tired. Steve NEEDS about 10 hours a day, less than that and hes grumpy, more and hes a zombie.
- There is a slightly different tone in his voice when he is telling you facts from the real world, and facts from Steve’s brain. Important to catch the difference!
- He LOVES hacker news. Like a lot. If we weren’t doing the startup thing he would marry Paul Graham and have his babies.
- He appreciates the musical stylings of Flight of the Conchords and Eminem
- He does a funny lip thing when I threaten to write code to fix an architecture problem… I have started doing it just for the reaction…
- He has cold hands. Awkward I know…
- He secretly wishes he could dance to Swan Lake… Not actually… I mean, I don’t really know…
And more as a peace offering to Steve than for your reading enjoyment, these are my best guesses at the things that I do, that drive Steve absolutely batty:
- Threaten to sleep with most of the women we end up talking about throughout the day (especially Lily Allen!).
- Not know really perverse and bizarre software engineering terms, that apparently I should know.
- Ask him questions when I’m not sure what I’m even asking, then figure it out and apologize and go back to work. He hates that!
- Eat the good food before he gets it. I worry that we may go to pistols at dawn over egg nog…
- Tell bad jokes, then tell a bad joke on top of the bad jokes, then ramble. This normally happens at about 3 in the afternoon. Steve quietly puts on his headphones. I sometimes take the hint…